Emojis Are the Malware of Modern Communication

Remember when :-) was just a harmless smiley? Yeah, me neither because now emojis are everywhere, like persistent malware that won’t f***ing leave.

Group chats, corporate emails, marketing campaigns, and even f***ing bash scripts… It’s all spam clogging up my brain like corrupted syslog entries.

The Problem with Tone

Tone is now f***ing emoji-dependent. “Sure” is a normal ACK while “Sure 🙂” is a passive-aggressive 500 error straight to your face.

And the overkill “holy sh*t” six 😂 in a row? That’s basically a DDoS on my sanity. Emojis have turned subtlety into a f***ing guessing game.

Why This Is a Disaster

Words were supposed to be the main protocol of communication. Emojis were the optional plugin, not the primary payload. Now we’re running EmojiOS 15.0, and it’s buggier than Windows ME after three cups of bad coffee. Human communication has officially become a beta build and not even the fun kind.

Time for a rollback

Roll the f***ing thing back to a stable release. Let words carry the weight again. Keep emojis as garnish, not the main course. Otherwise, we’re all just stumbling through a sea of pixelated chaos, trying to decode someone’s f***ing emotional UDP packets.